Friday, January 28, 2005

Consistantly and Thoroughly

OAKLEY
Are you absolutely sure that's wise, sir? I mean, I don't want to sound pretentious here, but Itchy and Scratchy comprise a dramaturgical dyad.
KRUSTY
Hey, this ain't art, it's business! (to Meyers) Whaddya got in mind? Sexy broad? Gangster octopus?
MEYERS
No, no. The animal chain of command goes mouse, cat, dog. (to the writers) D-O-G.
WEINSTEIN
Uh, a dog? Isn't that a tad predictable?
EXECUTIVE
In your dreams. We're talking the original dog from hell.
OAKLEY
You mean Cerberus?
EXECUTIVE
(pause) We at the network want a dog with attitude. He's edgy, he's "in your face." You've heard the expression "let's get busy"? Well, this is a dog who gets "biz-zay!" Consistently and thoroughly.
KRUSTY
So he's proactive, huh?
EXECUTIVE
Oh, God, yes. We're talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.
MEYER
Excuse me, but "proactive" and "paradigm"? Aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that. I'm fired, aren't I?
MEYERS
Oh, yes.

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