Good Week For
Blind drunks, after a leading German brewery announced it will from now on produce beer bottles labeled in braille. Activists for the vision-impaired welcomed the news. “You often have no idea what’s about to go in your mouth,” explained activist Joanna Zimmer.

Bad Week For
Indian men, after a study found that up to 60 percent of the country’s males are too modestly endowed to wear condoms of the international standard size. Dr. Chander Puri called for a wider variety of condom sizes in India’s vending machines, “so people can pick a condom with confidence that is suited to their needs.”