Screech

Yes, it exists. Yes, it's graphic. Yes, you'll be able to download it soon.

The sportsbook Website BetUS.com is claiming to be the unlikely frontrunner in an even unlikelier bidding war over the distribution rights to a homemade sex tape featuring Dustin "Screech" Diamond.

Dirk [before he became Dirk-what was his name?]: Jack, I was thinking about my name, y’know?
Jack Horner: Yeah?
Dirk: I was wondering if you had any ideas.
Jack: I’ve got a few, but you tell me.
Dirk: Well, my idea was, y’know, I want a name, I want it so it can cut glass, y’know, razor sharp.
Jack:: Tell me.
Dirk: When I close my eyes, I see this thing, a sign, I see this name in bright blue neon lights with a purple outline. And this name is so bright and so sharp that the sign, it just blows up because the name is so powerful…it says, “Dirk Diggler.”