Europe/US relations

A great new Mark Steyn piece at the Telegraph: What’s US policy on Europe? No giggling.

Two years ago, I wrote that America and Europe were now engaged in a new Cold War. And just like the old Cold War it’s not only about Jacques Chirac issuing Krushchevian boasts to Washington that “we will bury you”; it’s also got room for the occasional détente phase. So this month in Washington is Be Nice To Europe month. For weeks now, the Administration’s hardline Zionist Christian fundamentalist neocon unilateralist warmongers have been coming into the office to find smiley-face reminders from the White House pinned to the desk: “Have you hugged a European foreign minister today?” And they’ve been doing their best to comply: Condi Rice flew in to the heart of “old Europe” and launched a big charm offensive. Then Donald Rumsfeld flew in and launched what felt like a faintly parodic charm offensive, insisting that the disparaging remarks about “old Europe” had been made by the “old Rumsfeld”. And now the President himself is on his way, staying up all night on Air Force One trying to master the official State Department briefing paper on the European Rapid Reaction Force, the European Constitution, the European negotiations with Iran, etc. (“When these subjects come up, US policy is to nod politely and try not to giggle. If you feel a massive hoot of derision coming on, duck out to the men’s room, but without blaming it on the escargots.”) The French Foreign Minister took to calling the US Secretary of State “chère Condi” every 30 seconds. It’s doubtful if the French President will go that far, but, if he does, the White House line is that Mr Bush is happy to play Renee Zellweger to Chirac’s Tom Cruise (“You had me at bonjour”). What does all this mean? Nothing.

You know you want to read the rest.