Walker's Magnum Review

"I was awakened this morning by a re-run of Magnum on the WGN. Frank Sinatra played a retired hard boiled NYPD detective who had come to the land of paradise (Gaugin) to track down a duo of rich white boys who had "raped, beaten in the face of, and left in the alley like trash" a little girl (Leoplod & Loeb). We come to find out the girl was in fact his very own grandaughter (Deathwish 1,2,3,4,5). I have a feeling this episode was written and directed in response to the ultra suave, yet existentially tortured partnership of Sonny Crocket and Ricardo Tubbs (MIami Vice). The episode climaxed with a Phil Collins montage. Which confirms Chris Haberman's suspicion that Phil Collins is a whore. It made me ponder the power of Phil Collins in the mid to late 80's. The song that was played while the geriatric Sinatra beat up young, muscular, fully haired men, was "Tonight, Tonight." Unless I am mistaken which is totally possible ("Rock It Man"), the song begins with "I am going down, going down like a monkey". Which makes me wonder what in the hell is Phil talking about, losing membership in the bi-pedal association? I think this may have been a inside jab at Peter Gabriel ("Shock the Monkey"). What am I saying, Phil Collins whole career was God's practical joke on Peter Gabriel if not the whole industrialized world. Sinatra gets the remaining sodmite on the roof (presumably of the tallest building on Hawaii or possibly a building built upon the tallest volcanic peak of the latter day state) as he pushes the young, tall, atheletic, vibrant, knife wielding, man off the roof, the scream of justice is heard half way through Magnum's vouching for the vigilante Sinatra to the police chief whose name escapes me. The descending scream is comically long. I could just imagine Sinatra telling some Michael Mann wannabe "The scream is too short" "When the Chairman pushes you off the roof you scream longer and louder than ever before" -"Enough said get out of my trailer". I like to imagine Sinatra interacting with humans, it may be my new hobby. Needless to say this episode was a winner, Sinatra in floral prints on the small screen is magical."

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