Bob and David Book Blurbs

Monday, February 28, 2005
BLURBS 4 SALE!!!Get ‘em while they’re HOT!

*I took a night-time class at the Adult Education Center for Early and Late Adult Education. I learned how to write blurbs for people’s books. You know - "blurbs", the little comments on the back cover that give you an excuse to buy it. I was told those are always in demand. I think I did a damn fine job. My teacher was a Mr. Mark Twain himself. I’ve gotta be honest, he looked a lot like Deepak Chopra in a wig and white suit.I thought I would put these up for sale right here on the ol’ website. If you’ve written a book, spend the money for a good blurb! Don’t shortchange your work - it deserves nothing less than a rave! From me!Here are my blurbs for sale followed by their pricings.

Like no porn ever – $125.00
Finally, a 'Catcher in the Rye' without the indeterminable longing for lost innocence. - $3,500.00
Tells you about horses and how they get taken care of. - $0.23
The writing in this book is so darn sexy it masturbates you. - $0.08
A magical book that will haunt you like a ghost being sawed in half. - $2.50
I loved this story! It’s got everything; murder, retribution, justice, family humor, a hot-rod that talks, the key to black-holes, a shoe-horn that talks, loss of innocence, innocence regained, a map to the louvre, camping descriptions, erotic passages, an infant Hitler you’ll grow to love, a dancing surgeon, a talking whale, a talking button, a talking Pope, a franco-philes tour of Paris in the 20’s, a list of ingredients, clichéd metaphors strung together like nobody’s business, an indictment of the military-industrial complex, an old woman with a secret (she’s really a man), and 5 more things I’ve forgotten. Okay, so it doesn’t have it all. But it has 27 things and that’s a lot! - $0.10
A comic novel about the horrors of female circumcision in Sub-saharan Africa like no other! – $2,000.00
Makes other bibles look like fucking horseshit. - $2.50